Spencer Pratt: reality TV star; crazy healing crystal bad guy. Anyone with half a brain cell will know that perfectly named Pratt and his wife’s plastic face are the single best thing on TV. After every episode I like to sit and contemplate what I have just watched because it takes a few minutes for my brain to compute such levels of TV genius.
The most recent episodes of season 6, sadly the final season of The Hills, have been the greatest for the Pratts. We’ve seen Heidi ride an elephant, Spencer rub his face with healing crystals and just about every one of their friends drop them.
Spencer Pratt is the TV “star” we all need to embrace and if you don’t believe me, I have gone to the trouble of putting together just a few Pratt gems. I defy you by the end of the list not to stand up and applaud his ridiculousness.
He hates everyone and calls his wife’s mom “just a vagina” -
I always get excited when I see the veins pop in Spencer’s neck because I just know that shit is about to get real. Look at the photo above. Can you see the vein? It’s throbbing like an amazon jungle river, carrying along little boats full of hate. The fingers come out to point and he has to control himself not to “murder” somebody. He always says this and now I’m just playing the waiting game until he actually does it.
So Heidi and her new face went to visit her mom and her mom cried. I mean, her new face is pretty bad. Spencer accuses her mom’s tears of “emotionally raping” Heidi (I’m serious) and then proceeds to call her mom “just a vagina that gave birth to Heidi”. And I watched all this thinking, jeez, TV doesn’t get much better than this.
He is obsessed with healing crystals and has reportedly spent $500,000 on them –
Firstly, healing crystals. Secondly, $500,000. What can you get for $500k? Magical rainbows that allow you to climb up onto a cloud? The power to turn water into champagne? The ability to tie dye any item of clothing really, really well? Whatever it is, I like it. Now whenever Spencer gets stressed he slaps a piece of rock to his head and closes his eyes and inhales.
His inventive way of eating -
See above. Not even chips stand a chance against Spencer’s mouth.
He pulls out tears and the crystals in nightclubs -
This is a man who isn’t afraid to show his true feelings.
He gives his friends thoughtful presents -
Because you just never know when a feather might come in handy.
Heidi on an elephant -
Heidi on an elephant
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katiebagley posted this
